Do you ever look around the room at your friends and think to yourself, “When did everyone stop trying? When did we just give up?” You know what I mean: no one is wearing make-up. No one appears to have combed their hair all day. Those walking shoes have seen way better days. And, is there a bra in the room that wasn’t around for the turn of the century? Doesn’t anyone try any more?

I am not talking about spending a lot of money, so don’t get all judgy with me. It is more about giving up than it is about being frugal. I can look around a table of women my age and see a collective “just stopped caring.” And, I get it. Many of us spent years in a work “uniform” whether it was self imposed or an actual uniform and when we finally got the opportunity to ditch what we had to wear for what we wanted to wear we did a deep dive into comfort. We stopped wearing any clothing that wasn’t jammies. We dropped our fashionable footwear for sensible shoes full time, whether going to a wedding or taking a 3 mile walk. Make-up? Why? And, our hair? Forget it.

I am all about being sensible, but turning 50 or 60 or 70 doesn’t signal a new era of not caring, or at least it shouldn’t. This is a great time to have fun with your looks: who do you have to impress? I grant you that our hair, our skin and our bodies are not at all what they used to be, but in my mind that gives us more reason to step it up a notch.

I was having this same discussion with a friend last week and as I was talking, I realized that she doesn’t wear make-up. And, she told me that she never did wear make-up, so why would she start now? But she does like fashion and it shows. I wear make-up every day of my life and always have, so for me to stop that would feel un-natural. I have always been a person who puts herself together everyday but I don’t expect everyone to be like me. However, it makes me sad to look at a friend who is energetic and alive and confident about herself on the inside, and looks nothing like that same woman on the outside.

So, I want you to think about this: does your outside represent the woman you are on the inside? If not, what’s missing? Do you wish you could look more lively on the outside but you don’t know how? Ask a friend, or, better yet, ask your daughter or son. Any one of those people will tell you in a hot second what you need to change.

I think what you might find is that when you look like you care about yourself, others are interested in learning more about you on the inside. I want you to shine as brightly on the outside as your light is in your heart. You don’t have to invest in a new wardrobe but you do have to appear to care.

Remember when you were young and interested in fashion and how your looks were such a big part of your world? It was because it mattered to you. That doesn’t have to change just because you are a single woman over 50, 60 or 70. It’s hard enough to get noticed in this youthful world so keep fighting girl!