Inspiration Archives · Page 20 of 23 · Starting Over At Sixty

What is Your Word for 2018? Mine is Goal!

December 11, 2017

I have written before about a little book that I think has lots of tips in a small amount pages. Design Your Day, by Claire Diaz-Ortiz, is a great, quick read for organizing your life, rather than just your sock drawer! One of the tidbits that has stuck with me is the creation of one word or thought that is your mantra, your go-to when you feel like you are veering off track. So a couple of years ago I came up with the word “forward” to keep me moving in that direction. I still like that one and I still use it to “right the ship” when I feel like I am off course. But, my life has changed so much in the last few years since I am now well into my sixties and single, I thought it was time to come up with a new word that better defines how I want my life to go in the next year or two. Forward, I am not abandoning you and I want to keep moving that way, and I will always love you as my first word, but it is time to expand my repertoire of directional focus (that sounds like a self-help phrase doesn’t it?).

Goodbye Forward, Hello Goal

When my life was turned upside down and my marriage crumbled after more than thirty years, I constantly felt unstable, like I was walking on a waterbed of the seventies (don’t pretend you don’t remember). Every step was unstable and I was constantly wobbling and falling and having to catch my balance and try to stay upright. I spent a lot of time clinging to the edge. So “forward” gave me a direction and I could keep it in my sights. It helped me to put one foot in front of the other when I could barely move. Fast forward (pun intended) and I am perfectly capable of standing on my own two feet now and need to set the bar a little higher. I need to look ahead farther down the road.

Enter “Goal.” That is my word for 2018. I have given it a lot of thought and while I have moved forward quite nicely, I need more incentive to move to the next stage of life. I am now a fully functional single woman in her sixties, not the weepy sadsack that I was even one year ago. In my head, I am using goal as a verb, not as a thing but as an action. It is not something to achieve, but the act of achieving it. After all, it isn’t the achievement that is important but the getting there that makes it worthwhile, that creates inner growth and gives you that “job well done,” feeling. “Goal me,” is how I will think about it in my head. Kind of a “bring it on,” mentality.

What is Your Word?

During this holiday season, there are often times of sadness, especially if you are a woman who has had to start your life over after fifty, sixty or beyond. So start now, start right now thinking about a word that can help get you one step closer to where you want to be. You will know when you have the right one for you. It will stick in your head and you will revisit it over and over. Then get going. You don’t have to wait for 2018 to get started. However, let me say this: if your word turns out to be a bust, if it just doesn’t fit, guess what, pick another word. “Forward” was not the first word I landed on a year or two ago. I had others but as I put them into practice they just were not right. Be flexible with yourself. After all, it is yourself, your word, your motion.

What is the right word for you? What is the word that is sticking in your head for 2018? And, what will it mean for you in the coming year? I would love to hear from you, not just now, but all year long. I want to know how just one word helps you in your daily life. Believe it or not, one word can make a huge difference.

A Perfect Gift for the Bad-A__ Women in Your Life

November 28, 2017

A perfect gift for the bad-a__ women in your life is Mitch McGuire’s compilation of the first 10 issues of his magazine, Refigural, which offers interviews and editorial comments from women all shapes, sizes and attitudes. The photographs are edgy and the content is as well. This Refigural

10 issue paperback is for that woman in your life who has everything but a stuffy attitude. You can find it for $24.00 at The Sunroom.

Hand-off the Holidays and Have a Blast!

November 27, 2017

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Hand-off the holidays now! Because, I know that most of us remember the days when the holidays meant thousands of tasks that had to be completed by the December holiday, whatever holiday you celebrate. Cookies, parties, gifts; and that was just for the kids and school. Then family packages sent by the last date possible to make sure they arrived. Buying, wrapping and hiding what seemed like hundreds of gifts, only to forget where they were hidden when the time came to open them (please tell me I am not the only one). There were so many people in my life back then, so many more than I think I have in my life now. Having young children increased the number of people in my life by about 50 per child it seemed. I remember feeling like there were not enough hours in the day, then when I finished that day, there weren’t enough in the next day, until Christmas. I also remember singing in the church choir on Christmas Eve, getting home at about 1 a.m., filling the stockings and crashing. I would get up with the kids and do all of the opening on Christmas morning, then I fell asleep for about 3 hours. Just dead. Every Christmas. Crazy!

Enjoy Watching Others Do It All!

So, as I think about all that uproar, and I am over sixty and single, I think about how much I really get to enjoy every minute of the month ahead. Sure, there is plenty of gift giving and plenty of parties, but the pressure is off. I am not the head elf anymore and I gladly give up that title and hand-off the holidays. I watch it all unfold in front of me and I love being a spectator. I have passed the baton and get to watch my adult children take over. It’s heartwarming for me when they ask what church service we are going to attend (since they don’t have to go anymore) and to know that some things “stuck” with them.

And, I get excited to see what they have for me, not because I care what the gift is, but because it gives me a glimpse of who my children see me as, who they think I am and what they think I will like. A window into our relationship.

So, enjoy every minute of not being the top dog this holiday season. Enjoy the fact that you did it for all those years and now have successfully handed the reigns off to children or nieces and nephews or grandchildren. And, just watch all the seeds you planted for years grow before your eyes. Now, that, to me, is what the season is all about.

A Compliment Campaign Will Make Your Day!

November 7, 2017

I was walking into an office building several weeks ago and a woman walking toward me said, “That shade of red is beautiful on you.” I thanked her and immediately had a smile on my face. It made me happy. It put me in a good mood and I started thinking about how much a small gesture can make a difference. So, I decided to start my own “Compliment Campaign” to see if handing out compliments felt as good as receiving them.

It not only felt as good, it felt better than good. It felt great. And, it takes no time or talent. I just started giving people genuine compliments. I tried to make sure to do five a day. I usually drive through McDonald’s in the morning for a smoothy and so I told the lady who takes my order how much I like her new hair color. One. The woman who handed me my smoothy had a new scarf wrapped around her hair. Love it. Two. I picked up a friend for a volunteer project and told her how pretty she looked in a dress. I had never seen her in a dress and I told her she has great legs! Three down, two to go. And that was all before 8 a.m.

There are a few points to consider here. First, it isn’t hard to find something nice to say to almost anyone. You can find a positive and it doesn’t have to be about looks. “You are my favorite ice cream scooper,” has come out of my mouth more than once (surprise, surprise). “You always do such a great job for me,” works. “I want you to be my server every time I come in.” You don’t have to lie, just think of something someone else does well and tell them about it.

It is amazing how the smallest gesture can make such a difference. I know how great I felt when I was told I looked good in the red top. It just puffed me up a little. But the benefits of complimenting others far outweigh being on the receiving end.

First, I get good service from those people. Others love to help the customers who appreciate what they do and how they do it. Second, it feels good to make someone else feel special and it costs nothing. Most important though, is that you never know what someone is going through on the inside. Someone crossing your path might be having a rough day and a kind word could make a world of difference.

There is a woman who lives on my block downtown, and by living on my block I mean outside. She is rough looking, there is no other way to put it. She often doesn’t seem to be coherent. She wears slippers and her hair is wrapped up high on her head. She always carries plastic bags. Not only is this a woman who is often ignored, she is a woman who could make one decide to cross the street out of fear. I’m sure you get the picture. I was afraid of her, I am not going to lie. So, I just started saying hello to her and sometimes she would answer and sometimes she would not. No problem. Then one day I told her that I liked her bright blue pants. She smiled: that was new. She said she was going to get more pairs in other colors, but I doubt that. It doesn’t matter. Someone who does not get noticed got noticed and I think it made her happy for a minute.

So, my challenge to you is to pay five compliments every day for a while and take in all the joy that it can bring. Make it a habit. It has been a game changer for me. My “Compliment Campaign” has made a difference in my life and I hope it will do the same for you.

Setting Goals: My First Triathlon

October 31, 2017

Diane Lemay was used to accomplishing big goals: she is a retired pediatrician, a medical director at Anthem Health Insurance and is a theology student at Ohio Dominican University in Columbus, Ohio. In high school, she had been a runner and in her thirties, she ran marathons. She did a mini triathlon at Buckeye Lake in Ohio, where she lives, but she didn’t really enjoy it. She found the transitions difficult, especially biking to running, and that was the end of her triathlon experience, she thought.

In 2015, Diane found that she needed a new goal: she had experienced the break up of a long time relationship, she had gained weight and she felt that she just wasn’t herself: she wanted to get the active part of herself back. She was already a cyclist and loved it, and with her running background, she knew that if she could learn to swim, really swim properly, she could attempt a half-Ironman race. So, she made that her goal. It was December 2015 and the only Ironman-sponsored event in Ohio was a 70.3 in August of 2016. It was the first time Ironman had come to Ohio and it was in eight months!

Diane enlisted the help of Coach Kim Clark, who had her start swimming on December 26, 2015: there was no time to waste so the day after Christmas Diane was in the water, and for 18 months Diane has continued to learn and train to be a better swimmer. Now she loves it. She finds that when it is just her and the water swimming has a meditative quality. “I pray a lot when I swim,” she said.

Her biggest obstacle in swimming was that she had a hard time putting her head all the way in the water. So her coach taught her a trick: she pretends that when she is blowing bubbles she is talking to the fish and that when she is breathing and her ear is to the ground she is listening to them talk. Diane also learned to breathe bilaterally from her coach not only to balance her breathing but to give her the option of choosing one side over another if the sun is in her eyes when swimming. Coach Kim Clark also created hardships for Diane (swimming over her) to get her mentally ready for the swim. She even enlisted the help of a swim class full of children to jump in and swim over Diane.

Transitions were difficult at first because of the heaviness coming out of the water and moving on to the bike. It was a “different kind of hard,” she said. Biking to running was all about recruiting different muscles and changing your rhythm.

After eight months of training, Diane did her first IRONMAN. Swim 1.2 miles, bike 56 and run a half marathon, 13.1 miles, in Delaware, Ohio. “I actually enjoyed it,” she said. But the swim was tough. She had a hard time swimming in a straight line and says she knows she swam much farther than the 1.2 miles. During the first five minutes, she had a panic attack. Her heart rate was skyrocketing and she couldn’t catch her breath. The next wave of swimmers was passing her. She swam over to one of the kayaks in the water for safety and just waited to get her heart rate down, then she was fine and completed the swim. Her concern: Would she make it in the time allotted for the swim, or be disqualified? “I made it with six minutes to spare,” Diane said.

She took a couple of weeks off after the IRONMAN, then thought she would just continue to do some maintenance training. Her coach had other ideas for her. She asked Diane, “What makes you get up in the morning? What are the things you are passionate about?

Well now, Diane was passionate about triathlons. But, she also has a passion for helping those who are incarcerated. She hopes to work in the prison system when she becomes an ordained minister. Put those two interests together and there is just one place to go: Alcatraz.

If you are interested in learning more about becoming a triathlete like Diane LeMay, go to http://beginnertriathlete.com/.

Inspiration