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What’s your vision for your future? Do you even know? Do you know your vision? Because, if you don’t know what you want the movie of your life to look like, how will you get there?

When I am thinking about my happy place, here’s what I see in the little cloud above my head:

1. I am in California, where one of my sons lives, with a little house and a little pool out back. My children and grandchildren are there visiting me for the holidays. I am working there in the winter as a comedy writer.
2. It’s summer looking out over a lake with all the kids, grandchildren and friends sitting on the deck out back as the sun sets. Not fancy. Some of us are playing guitars and everybody is singing. Firepit, somemores, sweaters, shorts, flipflops.

That’s perfection for me. That is everything. It includes work, play, family, and fun. That is a life that I would love to have. And, when I realized that I see myself happy in these vignettes, I thought, “What are you doing to make the dreams come to reality?”

I give Coronavirus the credit for putting me in the mindset to think about what I want and what I am doing to get there. I’ve had boatloads of time to think about everything. So here I am with all of that newfound enlightenment: what’s next?

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Over the next couple of months, I’d like to talk with you about how you see your future, what your dreams look like. OK, it’s hard to know what the future will look like on the other side of the pandemic, but we all have dreams, right? We all have ideas as to what our lives will look like in five, ten, and fifteen years, but does your mission match your vision? Are your daily actions moving you closer to what you want?

With so much time to focus on me (way too much time) during the lockdown, something about the way the puzzle of my life was fitting together wasn’t working for me. You know that feeling of something being off? Something weighing on you but not knowing what it is or why? That’s been me.

I would say to friends, “Something’s not working,” but I would just shrug my shoulders and move on in the conversation. Kind of ho-hum. But, it kept gnawing at my brain and my heart. What’s wrong?

Then it came to me: when I think of myself happy I am living a life much different from my current experience. I’m not actively working toward the dream. Bingo! And here I thought I was so smart! How do I expect to get there if I’m not on that mission every day?

Whatever it was that was eating at me has set me on a new path and it’s one that aligns better with the pictures in my head. Whether or not all the pieces fall into place honestly isn’t important. What is important is how I feel inside: I feel settled and focused on the future. All of my stars are in alignment. I have my orders (from myself) and I am focused on my steps to move forward.

I want you to go with me on this “clarity tour.” Are you living your life in a way that will get you where you want to be? Do you need to make changes that will help you get there?

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It’s been a while since I posted anything here and I have to apologize to you. You, my followers, know that I write from the heart, and I just didn’t have it in me. Don’t know why, really, but every time I sat down at the computer, nothing came out. I was empty.

Maybe it has to do with this stinkin’ year of 2020. I’m sure I’m not alone when I think about how hard it’s been as a single woman, alone at home, with almost no contact with friends and family during the lockdown. It made me re-assess everything from where I live to how I want to live moving forward and where I want to be (I even put my place on the market!).

All that alone time made me question how and where I see myself in ten years and whether what I’m doing now is leading me toward that goal (It is not.). So, it’s time to get on track.

On the upside, so much time alone allowed me to bring back some of the hobbies that I used to enjoy that have gone by the wayside, like playing the guitar and knitting (My daughter and I played together when she came for a visit and I am almost finished with a sweater.).

What I didn’t have was anything in my little pea-brain to write to you about. I’ve experienced a lot of inner turmoil in this devilish year, enough that I felt like a fraud trying to put lipstick on this pig. It’s just a pig of a year! But, I’m back and ready to talk to you again. Thank you for sticking with Starting Over at Sixty, and let me know how you’re experiencing 2020, especially if you have found some magic potion to. help us all get through it!

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It’s hard for me to believe that I’ve been single for five years. In some ways, it seems like just yesterday that I moved out of my marital home, and in others, I can’t even remember what my old, married life was like.

So what’s it like after five years single? It’s taken me that much time to come to the realization that my life is my own. I don’t have to make decisions with anyone else in mind now. It’s my turn. I’m sure I could have figured that out about four years ago, but I’m a slow learner. I’ve been trying to get a grip on where I want to go and what I want to do for my remaining years, but, until a few short months ago, I hadn’t allowed myself to think solo. That changed during the pandemic.

Forced to spend a lot of time alone, really alone, changed how I’m viewing things moving forward. I can’t travel to spend time with my children. I can’t hang my happiness on our time together, because it may be awhile before that luxury returns.

And, and this is a big one, I may be single for the rest of my life. I was so used to being part of a couple that I honestly didn’t think of myself as single until recently. I am more settled in that fact now. Thank you pandemic. If that’s the case, what will make me happy? How will I find happiness? And, where?

The next five years are going to bring the biggest changes to my life, even bigger than the past five. I’m certain of that. I have not been this excited about my life for some time. There are no concrete options on the horizon, but I can feel it like never before. Hope you will stick with me on this voyage.

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