It appears that the lockdown that we’ve been living in for the past several weeks will soon be changing and our lives will once again shift. I, for one, am ready! And, as we plan for the weeks and months ahead, it is a great time to re-evaluate: it is a great time to reset life.
I’m feeling a little like I do when I am coming up to a new year: I want to make plans for the things that I haven’t been able to do lately. But the lockdown has taught me a few things about myself that I want to remember as I make plans for the future.
Social Butterfly or a Loner?
I am a social butterfly and I like to be around people. I always thought of myself as someone who loves to be alone, and I do. Reading and knitting and watching TV all favorite activities, but I enjoy that within a life that includes lots of other time with people. You might say I thrive on social interaction, but I had no idea how much I did until I, someone who lives solo, was locked down.
What this social distancing has taught me is that I like to spend time alone when I am living a super busy, super socially connected life (oh, of course, I do!). When I am surrounded by people and commitments, I love time alone. But when the party is over and alone is all there is, not so much.
Now, with that knowledge (it’s only taken me 64 years to get a good handle on that one) I will move forward in a different way than I have in years past. I really understand that in order for me to be happy alone I need to have that social element integrated into my life as well. Without it, I’m just lonely. As I have time to reset life, I want to keep that knowledge top of mind. I only wish I had figured it out about thirty years ago: it would have saved me a lot of difficulties.
Adversity or Inconvenience?
About ten days into social distancing, I had a meltdown. I was talking with a friend on the phone after a long lonely weekend and with tears in my eyes said, “I don’t think I can do this!” Of course, I did do it, and I got better at it. But I am ashamed to think that just because I had to be alone for a while, even a long while, I was falling apart.
Get a hold of yourself, Paula. Staying at home for several weeks has been an inconvenience, but I didn’t get the disease. I haven’t had a loved one pass away. That’s adversity. While it took me a while to turn my thinking around, I was no more than inconvenienced. When I changed my attitude from boo-hoo to oh-well, I began to enjoy the time I had alone. Adversity or inconvenience? It’s how I frame things in my mind that dictates how I react to them. Lesson learned.
Change Moving Forward?
After all this, how will I change moving forward? How will you change moving forward? What will I do with this time to reset my life? What will you do?
Of course, I can’t wait to squeeze my children! But attitude-wise, I want to be more mindful of how lucky I am that no one in my family and close-friend world got sick.
And, I want to take the lessons I learned about myself and my love of social situations and incorporate them into my everyday life in a healthy and balanced way. It’s about balance. I need to balance my life by including both a busy schedule and downtime. And, I want to do that both in my personal life and my “outside” life. That will be the best way to maintain a happy, healthy daily emotional balance.
Now it’s your turn. What have you learned about yourself during sheltering in place that you will carry over into your regular life? What will you do differently? And what did you really enjoy while you were at home?
Stay safe and healthy!
