I know, it’s not easy starting over later in life, especially if it wasn’t what you had planned, or you have had an unexpected setback. It may even feel like the end of the world. To get myself going, I came up with three ways to get excited about starting over at sixty.
It took me some time to pull myself back together. I still have lots of bad days, but I have slowly started to have more good days than bad. It didn’t happen overnight, but I’ve found some keys to making it happen.
Starting Over After Sixty? Start by Making New Friends
If you are waiting for someone to knock on your door to help get you back on your feet, you may be waiting forever. The only person who can make your life better is you and sitting on the couch binge-watching Netflix is not the answer, as much as I love it.
So, get out there and get to know your surroundings if you are in a new locale. If there is a coffee shop in your area, become a regular for a while. As you get to know the servers, they will get to know you.
You can look on the community board and find some activities near you. Take a book or the paper and just “camp” there for a while and you will most likely meet others from nearby. It just takes a couple of new acquaintances to make you feel at home in your new surroundings.
Look for an association in your neighborhood or building. That’s a great way to get to know some new faces. And it’s all you need to make you feel like you are moving forward.
I had a party shortly after I moved to my apartment and combined my long-time friends with some friends from the new neighborhood and it was a blast. My old friends loved my new digs and my new neighbors got a sense of who I am and who I was. Plus, I got some invitations for gatherings in my new neighborhood after that, so it was a success.
Never Stop Learning
Continuing to learn isn’t just key for starting over, it is key for anyone as they age. Learning and keeping your brain working – and exercise – are the two best ways to keep yourself young, in my opinion.
Whether it is joining a yoga class, learning to cook some new recipes or taking up a new hobby, you will not only replace old habits and attitudes with new ones, you will increase your knowledge and maybe make some new friends. You’ll feel like you are in forward motion, rather than feeling stuck in old patterns.
If you are not in a book club, join one. It will force you to read a book that you might not otherwise read. Take a cooking class. If you want to learn Spanish, find a course in your area. If you wish you had taken accounting classes in college, many colleges and universities offer classes to seniors at a reduced cost or even for free.
Keep your brain busy and learning and you will have less time to dwell on the past and feel sorry for yourself.
Exercise
Let me assure you, if I never had to exercise another day in my life I would be the happiest girl in the world. But I do have to exercise. I am not a skinny girl who can eat anything she wants and not pay for it in pounds. So, exercise just must be a part of my life.
I know that without it I will not have the best chances of staying mobile and healthy in the future. So, I do it. And I have met some nice people along the way. If you are not exercising now, do it. And if you are, great, keep it up. I love this trampoline class. It makes me feel young again!
You are doing something positive for yourself. Exercise helps your mood, keeps you upright and improves your attitude. All you have to do is put on your gym shoes and walk. You will feel better and get to know your surroundings.
Starting a blog called Starting Over at Sixty was another important step in defining my independence.
Have you ever gone through a major life event that forced you to start over? If you are struggling to start over, have you tried any of the ideas in this article? Please share your experiences with other women in the community.
Love this post because I can identify all three elements. I took the option of voluntary redundancy from a stressful job where I was driving 25,000 business miles a year, then I joined a gym at 56 and went to university at 57; things that I never thought I’d do. These have changed my life. I am fitter than I have ever been and I made lots of new friends at the gym. It is aimed specifically at women over 40, though the core membership is age 60-70. Those three years at uni were some of the best of my life. I graduated age 60, last year having studied linguistics and creative writing which led to my first published feature article and I am now more than half way through a novel. Even if it never gets published, the achievement of writing it will be tremendous. I just started writing my own blog and found yours quite by chance last night. Best wishes for success in ‘starting over’. Eloise. (Worcestershire, UK)
You are an inspiration! Keep moving forward, but I can tell I don’t have to tell you that.
So happy to have you as a reader! Thank you!
Your novel illustrates one important point: the joy doesn’t come from the reward at the end, the joy comes from the doing what you love. You are inspirational. thank you for reading.
And thank you for your comments. You are absolutely right – I love writing and the act of doing it is the joy. Looking forward to your next post! Eloise
Hi my name is Angela I’m 55 my husband works away every few months and I hate it , my girls are not at home anymore and I have not lived in my hometown for 27 yrs.im struggerling at the moment I lost my mum last yr if joined a gym and did start a sewing class but I didn’t have the energy has I work . My husband is off again next week and I dread it can you give me some advice my two best friends have moved I do know of other but there not the same I don’t get invites .i did join a ladies group but it’s not took off .
Paula,
Your blog is just what I need now. Yesterday, I grieved the one year anniversary of my husband ‘s death
from leukemia.
I waited this year out and have decided to move from my home in Port St. Lucie, FL. To Delray Beach.
I am going to rent and feel it out. My current area is to sleepy and I am very lonely without my husband.
The place I am looking to rent will allow me to walk to church,the library,the shops, restaurants and the beach.
I am full of anxiety at the thought of packing up my home that we retired to, five years ago. Yet, my gut feeling tells
me it is right! Along with that I have the encouragement of all my seven children.
Penelope, thank you for reading. For my 60th birthday, I spent time with friends and my children in Delray and fell in love with it. One friend has retired there and rented for a while to see if it was a fit and she has now bought a home. You are so right about being able to walk to amenities. She has also found that there are several volunteer organizations that you can join to make some new friends. I would be scared to death as well, but I know you can do it. You sound like you are taking charge of your life. I can’t imagine what it is like to be a widow, but you should be proud of yourself for knowing that you need a little more action. Almost all the women I hear from are so afraid of making a mistake, but what will happen if you do make a mistake? You will move back or you will try something else. You are brave enough and smart enough to do this. Keep in touch, please.