If you had asked me ten years ago if I needed any more friends, I would have said no. I had all the friends in the world. I loved and love my friends. But, when I went from being married to single things changed. I didn’t lose friends, I was lucky that way. But I moved from the suburbs to a downtown loft apartment. Things were different now. And while I was the luckiest girl in the world to keep most of my old friends, I realized that I needed to add single friends, men and women, to the mix if I wanted to have a pretty full social calendar. Because, no matter how much I love my married friends, there comes a time when they are doing couple and family stuff and I’m not. So I had to make new friends. Friends that I could call to join me for dinner or a movie or to go hear music.
If you, as a single woman, often feel lonely, the best thing you can do for yourself is to find new ways to make new friends. Here are some ideas for you to explore when you feel like you want to branch out for friendships:
Workout:
You know that you should have a workout spot, right? Well if you don’t have a gym or another place to workout, get one. For many reasons. I think that I have made friends in every gym I have ever joined. You spend a fair amount of time there. If you go at the same times you see most of the same people each week. You strike up conversations, you complain together, etc. Get a cup of coffee sometime or meet for a cocktail. You don’t have to be besties but you will expand your circle of friends.
Meetups:
I am telling you if you haven’t tried a meetup or two you are going to love them. Meetups are groups of people who get together around their common theme. They are in every city and town across the country. I belong to a knitting/crocheting meetup that meets every couple of weeks. Sometimes we are at a restaurant (Yes, we knit in a restaurant. We go to places that have enough room for us and aren’t super busy on the night we are there and we eat and drink and tip!) Sometimes we meet at Joann Fabrics because our organizer works there. That’s fine with me because I usually buy yarn while I am there.
I also belong to a Cycling Meetup (haven’t tried it yet). I joined a French Speaking Meetup but was too afraid I wasn’t up for it. I belong to a Social Media Meetup (again, haven’t tried it yet just because of scheduling, but I will soon. I also joined a group of women 60+ that often meets for happy hour, etc.
Now here is my best tip ever: There was no Meetup for single women 50+ in my city. There were singles groups but they weren’t for me; they were either too young or pick-up groups, and I really just wanted to meet other women like me so I could expand my group of single women friends. I wanted to create a group for single women, not to find men, but to find each other: to find friends who will go to a movie or the museum or any event that might be of interest. We meet each month for Happy Hour at different restaurants around town. In addition, we have a private Facebook page where members can post events, movies, music, festivals, etc., that they would like to attend to see if anyone else has an interest. I have met some wonderful ladies through this group and I am so happy that I organized it. I have made some new friends and have invited a couple of friends as well.
You can go to Meetup.com for more information or to look up groups in your area that might be a good fit. I have no skin-in-the-game as far as Meetups go, but you really can find a group for almost any interest, or you can start one.
Bookclubs:
I can’t believe I lived most of my adult life without being in a bookclub. Some friends asked me to join theirs, and I have thoroughly enjoyed it. I didn’t think I would. It keeps me reading, which I like. I got to know several women who I had known casually and I met new friends. And, my daughter is in a bookclub in New York, so talk about the books we are reading and what we liked and didn’t like. While most of the women in my bookclub are married, there is a bookclub for everyone. Again, if there isn’t one that feels right for you, start one. You can put the word out that you are forming a bookclub for single women in your area and I have no doubt that it will be full in no time.
All of these ideas are easy to create or join, and all give you the opportunity to meet new friends. I am telling you that creating friendships is the key to longterm happiness as a single woman over 50. You can’t have too many friends as you age as a single woman. Now, get out there!
Kathy says
Thank you for the encouragement! As a single woman now divorced for a year you are right about feeling a little out of place with friends who are coupled. It’s lovely that they are very open to still spending time with me. I think, Paula, I live (Dublin)in the vicinity of your city and I love the idea of once a month happy hour with other single women my age now that I am switching from evening shift to day shift at a local hospital. If possible I would like more information about about getting connected. Thank you!
Paula says
Kathy, I am so glad you like the post. I am the organizer of Columbus Single Women 50+. You can find it on meetup.com. We are a Happy Hour Group, and we have a private Facebook page you can join after you become a member of the meetup group where you can post events to see if anyone wants to join you: movies, music, etc. Make sure you let me know who you are if you join us for a Happy Hour!