Last week I wrote about my conversation with some of my friends at a women’s prison where I volunteer. We were all laughing and chatting while we sat around a table crafting. It was very fun and it was very light-hearted. But, when I started to think about what their days are like, I realized how lucky I am to lead the life that I do. And, I want to transfer some of those lessons into my own life.
Have Patience
My girlfriends told me that they learned patience quickly in prison. But more than that, they said, “All we have is time.” Think about that. For most of us, we wish we could have more time, more time to do nothing. Not these ladies. They sit and wait a lot. They try to fill their time: some of them make good use of their time by getting their GEDs, taking college-level classes and getting job training. Still, time must feel like it is standing still when you’re marking off the days until you have the opportunity to change your life again, by leaving the prison system.
As women over 50, I bet not one of you feels like you have time to waste. I know I don’t. I feel like I have to make every minute count because my time on this earth isn’t infinite: it will come to an end sooner than I wish. So, I want to make each day count. We are all so lucky that we don’t have to watch the clock tick away at our existence. We have the freedom to call many of the shots in our lives and I do not want you to waste a moment.
Be Resourceful
These women have so few resources when it comes to their everyday life. But, there is no group of women who can make more out of very little than my friends in prison: flower bouquets out of tissue paper, costumes for the talent show out construction paper and staples, veggie burgers out of oats and ramen seasoning. You name it, they can probably make it.
None of us is that hungry for resources, I know that, but so many of us single women, 50+ have different finances than we thought we would have at this time in their lives, including me. And, since having this conversation with my girlfriends on the inside, I have been thinking about all the waste in my life and how I can do better and save some dough at the same time.
I decided to take one area of my life and “clean it up.” I want to be more in tune with frivolous spending. So, I have chosen beauty products: makeup, lotion, fancy soap. I spend way too much on those things and then they just sit in my bathroom drawer taking up space. For this summer, I am pledging to myself that I will use up what I have until it’s gone before adding one more mascara or hair volumizer. And, when I do buy some of these products, I will only purchase more than what I need if it’s on sale. Now, that’s what I call resourcefulness, don’t you?
Hoard the Good Stuff
Well, I have to confess that I still have ribbon in my closet that I bought in 2014 in Paris because it is so special to me. So, trust me, I am hoarding the good stuff! This is one area where I excel. Too much as a matter of fact. It makes me think of Seinfeld and Elaine referring to men as “sponge-worthy.” If you are like me and hoard too much of the good stuff, try just starting to use it a little at a time. Like, wear that lipstick that is retired and quit saving it for special occasions, and don’t act like you don’t know what I am talking about! It is possible that I am hoarding Bobbi Brown #49.
Needs vs. Wants
This is a big one, right? I have no doubt that we all refer to things as needs, when, in fact, they are not even close to a need. I certainly have to count myself in when talking about food that I need, like ice cream, vs. want. A cocktail that I need, vs. want. Pretty much anything I say that I need, for the most part, I want. So, my friends inside made me think of needs vs. wants differently. And, when I look at life that way, it actually becomes a more simple, peaceful existence.
I hope you will take away some lesson from my friends on the inside of prison walls and apply them to your own life. Their words will certainly make you feel more appreciative with what you have already in your life. You also might begin to spend money and time a little differently.
What changes are you making to your life now that you know a few of the lessons learned from my friends inside of prison walls?
