That arrest may have been the best thing that could have happened to Jaime. First, it got her out of an abusive, captive relationship, where she was already in a prison of sorts. Then, it lead her to Tapestry, a recovery program within the Ohio Reformatory for Women: it was a critical pivot point in her life. Jaime learned self-validation, rather than seeking validation from others. She learned that she had so much anger internally, anger aimed at herself, that had not been addressed over the years. The dissociative disorder that had been diagnosed when she was a young child was brought to the forefront. She was taught how to recognize the signs of those internal demons and how to stop the behavior before it takes over.
While in prison she also joined a program focused on human trafficking victims, where she learned how to trust someone prior to intimacy, a concept that would have been lost on the old Jaime. She took classes focused on domestic violence while there as well.
Jaime spent 3.5 years in prison before going to a halfway house. She then traveled to Columbus, Ohio to join the Harmony Project, and David Brown, the director. “I knew he wouldn’t let me down,” Jaime told me. “I knew I’d be OK with David Brown,” she said, and we both knew what she meant. The Harmony Project group took Jaime under their “wings.”
“Now, I work at The Old Spaghetti Warehouse full-time, and I go to Columbus State Community College full-time,” she told me with great pride. And she should be proud. Her youngest son is living with her, too. “It breaks my heart that I wasn’t there for them when they needed me,” she said of her relationship with her children. While her youngest lives with her, her daughter is more in and out of her life and her other son is in constant communication. And, that man who cared for Jaime’s son back when she was using and was not able to be the parent that she wished she could have been. “I have a lot of shame about that. I don’t talk about it a lot because I have to admit to myself the mess I made.” Well, she has spoken with him. He was someone who was so kind to her when she wasn’t being kind to herself.
“What do you want to do next,” I asked her. If she could do anything, and I believe she can after all of this, it would be to put in place a program in which a judge, or children’s services, could give a female offender one more chance, one more opportunity for change before she loses everything. “Prison ended up being my chance,” she said. But she went on to say that she feels that there could be a program that could be used at a judge’s discretion for a woman to have one more opportunity before losing her children and serving jail time. “It (prison) definitely worked for me. I just wish I had had the resources, the knowledge, sooner.”
Jaime has been back to the prison where she spent years of her life, talking to women about her story. Her mantra, “Just start.” She said she writes it on her hand sometimes when she gets nervous. “I tell them to take chances, be willing to learn and just start. Take the necessary steps and be willing to be reachable. Don’t let the fear take over, just start.”
Jaime was featured in a brief documentary about human trafficking here.
To learn more about Dissociative Identity Disorder click here.
