It’s true, if you don’t like change, you will hate aging. We all know that the alternative to aging is worse than the aging itself, but you don’t just wake up one day and you have aged. Every day in the aging process is a new experience, and not always a pleasant one.
I was on a webinar a few weeks ago presented by The Transition Network and featuring Joy Loverde, a nationally renown author and expert on our aging population. She had a graph that illustrated what aging looks like: it was smooth sailing until about 40, then it was just transition, transition, transition, transition, transition. That’s it, until the end of the visual. It made a huge impression on me. So much so that I keep thinking about it.
I can only speak for myself, but I guess I thought I would know when I was old and at that time I would make decisions accordingly. As if it happens one day out of the blue and is over the next day; I’m old. Of course, that’s not how it goes, but I would be willing to bet that many of you picture aging in the same way. It happens to us. One day. We’re old. Presto.
Aging is like a slow moving avalanche, starting maybe, with the beginnings of menopause. Then you might notice that your knee is swelling. Nothing for a while, then, oh look at those big brown spots on my thighs. Where did those come from? The good news is that I don’t need blush any longer on my cheeks because the rosacea on my face takes care of that. None of these are earth-shattering.
Other areas of change can be the way you spend money or don’t spend money, watching your career come to an end or having to remain in that career because you need the money for old age. Your children may have moved away and some of your friends have passed away. You might not be able to handle the steep stairs in your home, so you will need to move, but not to an assisted living facility yet. You will downsize then learn that you really need more room than you thought you would. And that’s just on a Monday!
Don’t forget that you will not be able to see or hear anything (even though your ears will continue to grow. Oh, and you might have to go to the doctor to have your toenails clipped. A doctor!
I am making light of the continual transition that we face simply as aging humans, and those are all real. But, if you aren’t able to roll with the punches, you are going to be miserable for, what really is, the rest of your life. I want you to live a life that is full to the end, to the last breath leaving nothing on the table. So, you must adjust your attitude toward change if it is something that bothers you. Here are some tips:
- Plan for change, because it is coming. Not all change is bad, and even when it is, there may be nothing you can do about it. So, don’t let it be a surprise. Be prepared for some of the inevitable change that is coming. The mother of one of my best friends said that one of the reasons that she picked the house that she was downsizing to was that she could walk to the bus stop from there when she had to stop driving: good for her! That’s what I call planning for aging and planning for change.
- Take an inventory of what lies ahead and what your preparations look like. I took a friend to have a knee replacement a couple of weeks ago and she handed me her notebook to carry into the hospital with me. It had all of her legal documents inside: healthcare POA, POA, a list of phone numbers in case of emergency, her business documents. She said to me that she knew I had all of that as well, and I sheepishly said no. Now, I have an appointment with my attorney.
- Have a plan for your living arrangements going forward. Don’t act like you are surprised when someone comes to you and says that it is time to move to housing that is more appropriate. We all know it is coming one day. So plan for it. Will your current place work? What changes would you have to make? Or, will you have to move?
- Make sure you have a support system as you move forward. This is especially important as a single woman. We don’t have a spouse who is the other half of the equation. We absolutely need friends who will ride off into the sunset with us.
If you want to read more about what lies ahead, I do recommend Who Will Take Care of Me When I’m Old? by Joy Loverde. She really lays it all out on the table and will give you lots to think about.
Get yourself ready for what’s coming and you will be less anxious and more prepared.
