Repost from 1/20/2016

Sometimes you are freed from something that you didn’t know was holding you back.  That’s me.  And it’s not just the age thing.  I’ve never been one to worry about my age that much.  My Mother died at 49 (cancer) and my Father died at 55 (stroke).  So I feel like the luckiest girl in the world to have the opportunity to turn sixty.  To be here with my kids at sixty.  To get to see them as young adults and beyond.  I am a grateful girl at this point. I love sixty!

It is a great time to be unhitching my self from my husband.  I had no idea how beat down I had felt for years (not physically, let me make that clear).  I was oppressed by the lack of trust in my marriage and that darkened everything in my life.  Waiting for him to come home, maybe, and not knowing what that was going to look like was torture.  I was always waiting for the other shoe to drop, and it always dropped eventually.  I built a fortress around myself for protection.  I had no idea the enormity of the weight of that fortress and it is gone.  Read…my…lips……..gone!

And, while I was living with that, my business was oppressive because I really just didn’t like it and wasn’t good at it.  I did it to impress him.  It did not.  I have been carrying too much weight because there had to be some “place” of happiness and ice cream was that place.  I was drinking too much, well, you know why.  I was living in a big house on a golf course because I thought that if we moved there maybe my husband would like me better.  He just likes golf better now.

I sold the restaurants, I moved to a one room, 1000 sq. foot loft apartment: my husband wanted to keep the house because living on the golf course makes him feel like a big man: you’re welcome.  I probably drink less but Have fun more.  I am never going to like working out, but I am doing so for way better reasons than to try to make my husband like me again.  Funny, I seem to have lost about 195 lbs. (you get my drift I’m sure).

Hooray for me!  Happy Birthday!