New Year’s resolutions are the worst! They are a recipe for failure, yet every year we make them. Well stop it! This year, don’t make resolutions, make action items.
I have a little bit of a system I use to make action items, whether they are at the beginning of the year, or any time. It is a way for me to actually move forward, a way for me to succeed at positive change year after year and it just works for me. Take it and make it your own, but move forward. I am all about change and the positive effect that it can have on your life.
For whatever reason, the number 3 is perfect for me when making plans for the future. There are a couple of different ways to use the 3-pronged approach to preparing yourself for change:
Small, Medium, Large
- Small, medium, large: This is a great way for me to look ahead and see what I want to happen in the next year.
- Take the small item first. It can be the most mundane, everyday activity you can imagine, but it should be something you would like to see yourself be better about. Flossing, let’s say you want to be better about flossing your teeth, you want to do it every night before bed. That can be your small item. Here is what will happen: you will start flossing every night and then before you know it you will be in the habit and doing it without even thinking. Done, accomplished, off your list. Yay!
- Medium: I look at this a little like the sales goals that I had to make back in my sales days. It is a kind of tracker for you: are you on task or behind or ahead on a project you want to complete? It doesn’t have to be work related. It can be that sweater you want to knit or the 10,000 steps a day goal you want to maintain. Whatever it is, you should make this attainable but not too easy. After all, it is a goal, not a TV watching schedule! Make this action one that pushes you to achieve, doesn’t lull you to sleep.
- Now, large: This is your dream. But, a dream that you have to work at, not just wait for (isn’t that always the way?). Let’s say you want to write a book, well let’s say you say you want to write a book. It never happens, does it? It is going to happen in 2019! If that is your end game, then start with that at the end of 2019 and work backward. Break the process down into manageable and actionable steps: The outline, the number of words that you need to write each week, day or month, etc. Be realistic but firm with yourself. Or, you want to take an Alaskan Cruise, but can’t afford it. Well, start saving, sister! Make a plan for how you are going to make it happen and how much you need to tuck away each week to make that work. While you are doing that you can work on the research for the best deal, etc. By the time you find what you are looking for you will already have your down payment! And remember, do not be afraid to travel alone (https://startingoveratsixty.com/the-5-best-reasons-to-enjoy-traveling-alone/).
Personal, Professional, Home
- If small, medium, large doesn’t float your boat, try personal, professional, home. You can use these three categories for annual action item setting or even for weekly, daily or monthly projects.
- Let’s look at personal: eat less, exercise more, lose weight. Easy, maybe accurate, but come on, make things a little more customized for you. It can be anything, so live it up. Maybe you want to grow your hair longer, so no haircut for at least six months. Or you want to commit to building more muscle, so three days a week with weight training. Or, you want to make changes your style, so you are going to hire a wardrobe consultant to go through your closet with you to begin the change. Want to go on some dates? Force yourself to go on a dating site for three months or look for a singles meetup. You get the drift.
- Professional should be an action that gets you excited about the coming year. And, if you are retired, you can consider your volunteer life as professional. Or you can go back to school to get some new training: that can be professional. Whatever you want to do to move yourself forward, do it, learn it or accomplish it. Bravo!
- Home is the comfort piece of your action items. Want to create a craft room from your son’s old bedroom? Do it now. Do you feel like every closet is in need of a good clean out? 2019 is the year. Again, set monthly tasks for yourself and you will tackle the mess in much less time. I like to do one tiny activity in my home to improve it every day. That can be as small as cleaning out the junk drawer, or drawers, or as complicated and reorganizing my kitchen. It might be a remodel that you have been considering: now you can get to work on the planning and executing.
Here is the good news, by the end of 2019 you will have moved forward in ways that right now are just thoughts. Just ideas in your head. Just painful reminders that they are still on your list.
Happy Action Item Planning!
Mel says
I am reading this blog for the first time today and have never liked new year’s resolutions either. I love the way you have recharacterized them.
Have also just read some of the many blogposts and comments on other topics near and dear to so many of our mutual experiences. I wish it didn’t have to be so hard! It would be wonderful if we were able to be in person friends, with face to face connection and hugs, to have dinner together, see movies together, spend those holidays, when we long for what we are missing, together. Is there a way we could make that happen? Meet up groups don’t seem to work.
I’ve been a community volunteer my entire adult life, worked as a professional and not for profit leader, know I was a good wife, girlfriend, mother, friend, sister and colleague. I’d love to have a new job, too and really could use the income to offset healthcare costs–but no one seems to want to hire people in their 60s in a professional capacity.
I went through all of this seven years ago when my 35 year marriage ended, and am now going through all of it again after a 6 year relationship breakup. I am not afraid to put myself out there, to be vulnerable, to be real, and I know there are so many of us in the same boat, in a society and culture that does not focus much on one-on-one connection, love, trust, compassion and empathy. Kind of tired of hearing ‘that which does not kill you makes you stronger’, you know?
Looking for the joy!
Anyway, thought I would write.This is a great site!
Paula says
Mel, I am so glad you found Starting Over at Sixty and that you are enjoying the content. Wouldn’t it be great if we could all be in the same room and make friends with each other? Sadly, that’s not possible, at least for now. But we can be friends online. With this website, you will soon be able to connect with other women like us on Facebook. For now, I hope you will keep reading and keep moving forward. That is what Starting Over at Sixty is all about. Thank you for joining in the conversation.
Paula