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The most beautiful part of a woman’s body, no matter what her age or shape, is the shoulder. Couple that with the long, lean look of a jumpsuit and you have the perfect holiday party attire. The Wai Ming jumpsuit (415.00) has the slightest shimmery thread running throughout for just a hint of sparkle. Calleen Cordero shoes (675.00) and Item m6 earrings (75.00) complete the package with the Thread Bangles ($88, $620 featured on Starting Over at Sixty yesterday. The jumpsuit fits my beautiful friend Cindy (yes she is in the sixty and over gang) like a glove, right?.
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Over the next few weeks Starting Over at Sixty will feature some of our favorite holiday style for you or for gift giving.
The easiest and least expensive way to update your look is with accessories. The bangles here are from Thread and are each under $100. Large bangle, $88. Small bangle, $62. Go to shopthreadonline.com.
Read MoreI was walking into an office building several weeks ago and a woman walking toward me said, “That shade of red is beautiful on you.” I thanked her and immediately had a smile on my face. It made me happy. It put me in a good mood and I started thinking about how much a small gesture can make a difference. So, I decided to start my own “Compliment Campaign” to see if handing out compliments felt as good as receiving them.
It not only felt as good, it felt better than good. It felt great. And, it takes no time or talent. I just started giving people genuine compliments. I tried to make sure to do five a day. I usually drive through McDonald’s in the morning for a smoothy and so I told the lady who takes my order how much I like her new hair color. One. The woman who handed me my smoothy had a new scarf wrapped around her hair. Love it. Two. I picked up a friend for a volunteer project and told her how pretty she looked in a dress. I had never seen her in a dress and I told her she has great legs! Three down, two to go. And that was all before 8 a.m.
There are a few points to consider here. First, it isn’t hard to find something nice to say to almost anyone. You can find a positive and it doesn’t have to be about looks. “You are my favorite ice cream scooper,” has come out of my mouth more than once (surprise, surprise). “You always do such a great job for me,” works. “I want you to be my server every time I come in.” You don’t have to lie, just think of something someone else does well and tell them about it.
It is amazing how the smallest gesture can make such a difference. I know how great I felt when I was told I looked good in the red top. It just puffed me up a little. But the benefits of complimenting others far outweigh being on the receiving end.
First, I get good service from those people. Others love to help the customers who appreciate what they do and how they do it. Second, it feels good to make someone else feel special and it costs nothing. Most important though, is that you never know what someone is going through on the inside. Someone crossing your path might be having a rough day and a kind word could make a world of difference.
There is a woman who lives on my block downtown, and by living on my block I mean outside. She is rough looking, there is no other way to put it. She often doesn’t seem to be coherent. She wears slippers and her hair is wrapped up high on her head. She always carries plastic bags. Not only is this a woman who is often ignored, she is a woman who could make one decide to cross the street out of fear. I’m sure you get the picture. I was afraid of her, I am not going to lie. So, I just started saying hello to her and sometimes she would answer and sometimes she would not. No problem. Then one day I told her that I liked her bright blue pants. She smiled: that was new. She said she was going to get more pairs in other colors, but I doubt that. It doesn’t matter. Someone who does not get noticed got noticed and I think it made her happy for a minute.
So, my challenge to you is to pay five compliments every day for a while and take in all the joy that it can bring. Make it a habit. It has been a game changer for me. My “Compliment Campaign” has made a difference in my life and I hope it will do the same for you.
Read MoreSeems like a no-brainer, right. As the song goes, “If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.” While I am not clapping my hands I have become aware of my happiness. Guess what: I am happy. That doesn’t mean I am trouble free and it doesn’t mean that my life is one big ball of cotton candy, but I am happy and I am just now becoming aware of my happiness. Two years ago I moved out of my house, with my husband still in it, and started my life over. I hated every minute of it and I honestly thought my life had all but ended. Everything that defined me, wife and mother, was no longer there. My children were grown and gone and my role as wife had “expired”. I wasn’t sure I had the capacity to start over and I didn’t want that part of my life to change. I wanted to be a wife and a mother in an intact family and giving up on that dream nearly did me in. But now, now I’m happy. I willed myself to be happy, even at times when that was the farthest thing from the truth.
Here are some of the ways that I can tell I am happy and I am guessing that if you are experiencing any or all of these you are, too.
I am awake, I sleep, I wake up
Sounds very simple, doesn’t it. It’s not. And, it was anything but simple for me for the last few decades. I have known so many women over the years who just couldn’t sleep, and it was no wonder with babies and children who turned into teenagers. And, by nature, a mother never sleeps soundly for the rest of her life. But I have been chronically awake for many years. I tried medication and meditation and still very little sleep. With happiness came sleep. Happy sleep. The kind of sleep that allows me to wake up in the middle of the night and go back to sleep rather than ruminate over my bad married life.
When I moved into an apartment, it took a long time for me to adjust and for me to feel comfortable sleeping alone in my own bed. Want to know how I like it now? It is the bomb! I go to bed, I fall asleep, there is no one there to wake me up so I stay asleep, then, when morning hits, I wake up. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it?
I am Happy with my Downtime and I am Just Busy Enough
Everyone needs to feel needed. Everyone needs to feel necessary. And everyone needs to feel like part of the world. It isn’t healthy for anyone to continually be on vacation, but filling every hour of the day is worse.
In my younger years, I felt that if I wasn’t super busy I wasn’t relevant. I had no value. Now, I don’t want to have any value! I want to be the least valuable person in the room! I have nothing to prove so I don’t keep adding more to my plate. I say no to requests for my time. I am happy not being super busy: it made me grouchy. I am active physically and still active in the community, but I just don’t care about being so busy that I have no time to myself. As a matter of fact, I say no invitations when I need a little break. I know that I am happier when I am not so overbooked.
I Look Forward to the Weekend
I have to admit that when I was first single and living in my little one room loft, I hated to see the weekend come. I was lonely, even though I had lots of friends who included me in their plans. Sooner or later I had to go home, and home was just me. For more than 30 years home had been me and my husband and while he was not the great communicator, he was a living, breathing body on the other side of the bed. He was there to have breakfast with and to watch a game with or go to a movie with. Now single, it was not unusual for me to be sitting in my apartment on Friday night and have no plans until workout class Monday morning. That was tough.
Maybe I am just used to my new normal, but as long as I have one activity to look forward to on the weekend, I am a happy camper. Now when I go home I am not lonely, I am just alone, and that is OK.
I Don’t Miss my Children Every Second
When my marriage ended, I felt at loose ends. I had been so used to being the go-to person for everything. Our family revolved around me: I was the connector to all travel, holidays, birthdays, scheduling, etc. So, when the marriage came to an end, so did that “job.” I missed my children every second, maybe because they were now my entire family, my safe haven. They were my everything. It isn’t that fun for them to be my everything! I knew that at the time but I had to hold on to them for a while until I got my footing. Until I became stable again. But let me tell you, I hung on their every word, every movement, every for a long time. And now, I am able to let them catch their breath. I love any little bone they throw my way, but they are not 100% of my life, nor should they be. They were my lifeboat for a while and I am so lucky to have had them there to hold me up for a while.
I Smile for No Reason
Embarrassing but true, I find myself smiling while I am walking the dog. I think people think I am on earbuds listening to someone on the phone, but I am not. I am just smiling. I might be thinking about something or someone and I realize I have a smile on my face. In my marriage, there weren’t many smiles to be had. I was having to fake it. And now, I am smiling for nothing? I’ve come a long way baby!
I Throw my Hat in the Air Each Time I Walk Out of my Apartment
OK, I do not do this, but sometimes I feel just like Mary Tyler Moore when I am walking out of my apartment. I might just throw my hat in the air for effect. I am happy to be healthy and alive and vital. I have just enough free time. I exercise and work and go to movies and listen to music and do all the things that make me happy. Mary Richards has nothing on me.
Read MoreHumor
Brilliance doesn’t get in my way. Glamour is not an issue for me. But, I am funny. I don’t know if that includes the way I look, I kind of hope not, but I am funny. My Dad was funny. I think that is where it started. My Uncle is funny. And now, my kids are funny. I am an only child so I know that when I was young the best way to make friends in a group of strangers is to say something funny. If you continue to be funny they will put you in charge so you need to know when to stop! I am pretty self-deprecating, which, in my opinion, is the best way to be. Much better to laugh at my own expense than to laugh at others’.
Generosity
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Resilience
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