My oldest son is 6’3″. He is all legs and when I walk with him in Chicago, where he lives, I am always behind him. I actually have to start skipping to catch up. And one day it hit me that I used to be the one who walked faster than everyone else. He inherited his long legs from me and I used to walk with purpose and at a good clip. Well, I don’t like being The slow poke. I have slowed down a little and I don’t like it one bit. While I embrace my age, I don’t want to be the slowest person in the bunch: that makes me feel old. So, I am purposefully changing that slow walk. Slow is not who I am.
Some of My Friends are Slowing Down
I have friends who seem to have given up. They are kind of coasting through life: not old enough to sit at home and watch reruns of The Price is Right and not working full time any longer. They are moving at a slower pace and it feels as though they are not taking advantage of this great time in our lives. This is the time when we are still able to do most things physically and we have the time to do them. We have the ability to think clearly, for the most part, and we have lives that we might have envied several years ago.
So I do not get the mindset of settling in for the next thirty years. I am filled with anxiety over not having enough time to do everything that I want to do and that thought keeps me awake in the middle of the night sometimes. I know it is crazy I am so anxious to get going on new projects and new opportunities that I honestly can’t sleep.
Be Active While You Can
I was talking with one of my doctors one day not long ago and he was getting ready to have some back surgery. He told me that he and his wife are physically active and that he wants to get his back repaired so he can still do most of the things he loves before his age prevents him from doing it. I couldn’t agree more. With no knowledge of what tomorrow will bring you have to do the things you love now, not coast through one-third of your life. Think about that, one third of your life might be ahead of you. When you hear that stat I hope it gets you motivated to get busy. Be active, volunteer in your community, ride your bike: whatever it is that gets you excited.
And by all means, do not act your age. Act the age you feel inside. Act the age of a woman who has so much life left in her that she can’t take time to play solitaire. You will be amazed at how much fun you can have when you fill your day with activities that you love. Or go back to work doing something that you always wished you could do. Or, retire and go to Europe, just as you had always planned. Keep yourself busy and full of life and others will start to see you as the age you feel as well. They will know you as a person who brings something interesting to the table rather than someone who sits on the sidelines waiting for the game to start. Be the game!
Tell me what you are doing to not act your age. I can’t wait to hear from you.
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I know you are tired of me talking about maxi-dresses, but they are so comfy and honestly, so affordable. And, this past holiday weekend was the perfect setting to get lots of wear out of this one because it was so stinking hot! Not complaining, just fact. I think this olive green color is so flattering but I don’t see it on a lot of women. You can pair it with navy, black or a neutral sandal and you will look like a million bucks, but you don’t have to spend much for this one on Amazon.
Read MoreI was at the cemetery with my friend Don yesterday as he tended to his family’s plots on this Memorial Day weekend. My dog Red was having a blast running around and I was just watching it all and taking it all in. I thought about my family members who are deceased and how they made me who I am today. I also thought about how much of who I am comes from those before me and from my children: like bookends of influence in my life. So, ask yourself this: who are your bookends? Who holds you up and helps you stand tall? Who, no matter whether they are here on this earth or not, are your imaginary pillars?
Children, Mother, Grandmother?
Of course, I am over the moon proud of my children. We all are, right? I can’t believe I have a daughter who is a doctor. Really, I can’t believe it. I can’t believe that I have a son who graduated from an Ivy League university. Again, can’t believe it. I have a son who works in the entertainment industry in Los Angeles, which was his dream. Again, not on my radar when I was young. I tell you about them for this reason only: I do not come from a fancy family. The word Ivy League was not in our vocabulary. “I made my own curtains,” was more likely to be heard in my household. But when I write about the accomplishments of my children, I feel fancy! Proud and fancy.
Now, focusing backward, my thoughts about my Mom and my Grannie bring up words like strength, creativity, humor, and love, love, love. And my Mom got that from her Mom. and Grannie got it from Grand-Grannie. All of that strength and beauty and hard work was handed to me on an imaginary silver platter. “Here, take this and run with it.” I am so lucky to have had them.
Now, as I look at my life as a single woman after 32 years of marriage, I know that I could not be who I am without everything I learned from the women before me or everything I have learned as the mother of my children. I have such strong “bookends” to hold me upright, to give me the structure that I need to not only live a productive life but a happy life. It makes me feel strong. With the strength of the past and the promise of the future in front of me, those bookends will not let me fail.
Thank you to those who have gone before and to those who are moving forward. Thank you for being my bookends. Happy Memorial Day!
Read MoreDo you ever feel invisible? Here’s a story: a friend had to hire a private detective and a woman who was 50+ was recommended. When she asked why this former police officer was a good detective, the answer was, “No one who walks into a bar notices a woman who is over 50.” Ouch!
Let’s face it, we all feel invisible from time to time but that statement has stuck with me for years. It was depressing to think about. How could I continue to feel good about myself when I felt unnoticed every time I walked into a room full of strangers. But here is what I find to be true: if you carry yourself as if you are invisible, you will be. And, if you don’t, you won’t.
Being worthy of notice isn’t about how young or how beautiful you are. Being noticed is as much in your head as it is about others around you. If you chose to dress like no one should look at you, they won’t. If you chose to carry yourself as if there isn’t anything special about you, there isn’t. For years I felt like I was nothing because I was with a man who made me feel that way and I let him. In the last year, however, I have really come back to my true self and I never feel invisible.
When I walk into a room I want to be noticed, not passed over. I want to look like a confident woman. I want people to see me coming in and say, “Here comes the fun!” And, now I think I do. I am and want t always be, relevant. When you exude liveliness others feel it and it rubs off on them. They have no choice but to notice you.
So, if you are not showing up to your life as a woman who deserves to be seen, who deserves to be noticed, and you want to change that, you know what to do. Make s change. Tell yourself how beautiful you are, how much fun it is to be with you and you will find that others begin to feel the same.
I dare someone not to notice me in a bar. Say it to yourself and soon you will believe it and others will too.
Read MoreI bought these “Soda Fountain” glasses at an antique flea market last fall and I have been wanting to use them ever since. Well, it is time! And, I have the perfect adult concoction worthy of these beauties: it’s called the Detroit Hummer, invented by Jerome Adams in 1968, fifty years ago. Mr. Adams, who was inducted into the Bartender Magazine Bartender Hall of Fame in 2017, passed away just this past April. So let’s honor him by making his most famous, and I’m sure his favorite, cocktail. Here is his recipe for the perfect Hummer (I know I know I know).
Ingredients
3-5 ice cubes
1½ ounces of light rum (Adams likes Bacardi or Castillo)
1½ ounces Kahlúa coffee-flavored liqueur
2 scoops of good-quality vanilla ice cream
Directions
Place all ingredients in a blender. Pour, stick a straw in it (I love these metal straws that can be reused) and enjoy. This recipe makes enough for two people.
Happy Summer Hummer!
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Summer means heading up to my rooftop and grilling. But, when I say heading I mean climbing! Two flights. Dragging my heavy dishes up those stairs is no fun and I hate to eat on paper or plastic, so this set of pink melamine dinnerware is perfect for the job. It is super inexpensive so I have two sets and if it is beaten up after the season I can pitch it. Happy Summer!
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