Hey Girlie, it’s been a rough few months and weeks, hasn’t it? If you haven’t been touched personally by illness or unrest, you’re lucky. I’m lucky. And, I don’t know one woman who hasn’t used the time to re-evaluate a portion of her life. Money is an issue. Health is an issue. Safety is an issue. Everything is serious. So, I want you to take a breath and do you this week.
What do I mean by that? Anything! Do something for yourself this week. And, I don’t mean cut back on sugar. I mean do something this week that is frivolous and fun and only for you. That can be as small as buying a new mascara. It can be tacking on the extra mile on your daily walk. It can be having ice cream. Or break out a pair of heels that you haven’t had an occasion to wear and, well, wear them anywhere, even if it’s around the house.
Just do you this week, whatever that means for. Everyone needs a little attention and we single women who have been on lockdown may not have had enough of that lately. We’ve probably spent more time alone than some of our friends. We may not have had someone to tell us that the banana bread is great, or thanks for cleaning up the kitchen today. Not complaining, just a fact. So, it’s time for a little self-attention.
Make sure to make it as unimportant as possible. Kind of a self-pampering brain vacation. I want my Starting Over at Sixty girls to feel some relief from life this week. You would laugh if you heard what I am going to do (OK, I’ll tell you, I am going to wear a pair of false eyelashes this week. I know that sounds crazy, but I used to wear them every day and I found a pair in a drawer and thought I should give them a try for fun). That’s it. Nothing costly or wild. Just fun.
So, do you this week ladies. Have some fun. Don’t worry, the world will still be here if you have a moment of joy.
Read MoreAs a single woman, you might be in the mood for a date or two, now that you’ve been at home forever. Are you wondering how you can manage dating and social distancing at the same time. I am. I’m ready to be a little more social and have a little less distancing! How can I do that and stay safe?
During my time at home, I missed social interaction, mostly with my close friends and with my children, of course. But, I also missed the opportunity to meet someone who I might like to go out to dinner with or even a movie. Ha! Movies! Remember those? Here are some suggestions for dating during social distancing.
Take a Hike Buddy!
Not really. But you can take a walk and maintain your 6-foot distance and chat for an hour or two. It’s actually a really nice way to get to know someone. You get your exercise, you maintain your distance and you figure out whether this is someone you want to spend time with again.
Pack a Picnic
Again, you can meet for a little charcuterie and a beverage and still keep your distance. It works pretty well. Plus, I think it shows that you are willing to put a little effort into getting together. It can also show you whether this man is game for an adventure. If not, why bother? You can stay a proper distance apart and enjoy the evening or afternoon.
Zoom
I know you can hardly stand one more Zoom call. If you’re like me, there have been days when it seemed like all I did was Zoom. Who’s Zoomin’ Who (as the Pointer Sisters sang)? We all know now, there’s nothing perfect about a tele-visit. But, it is better than just another phone call and you can see who you are talking to and get a feeling about that person’s demeanor, personality, etc.
Is it even worth the trouble? That’s up to you, but since we have been locked down for so long, it feels good to meet someone new and get to know him. It adds a little excitement to life.
More important than “pre-screening” is what you can learn about a man by meeting him when times aren’t perfect. It’s true. If he’s a guy who expects you to come to his place for dinner right away, he’s not for you. He’s not following distancing rules and I don’t know about you but that’s a deal breaker. At least at first.
Is He Sponge Worthy?
Remember when Elaine on Seinfeld was rationing her sponge contraceptives because she heard they were going off the market? That’s how I would decide if a man is worthy of becoming part of your “quaranteam.” At some point, if you really like someone and he you, you will just have to decide whether he is “sponge worthy,” whether you can trust him to be part of your quarantine world. You will know when you are comfortable. And, if a man doesn’t want to be careful with you, he’s not “sponge worthy!”
Read MoreWhat change did you make after being locked down for three months? For me, I learned that I need to use the good stuff for myself and not just for others.
There is a fragrance that I love and have worn for several years. It’s expensive. So, when I became single and felt like I needed to be a little more frugal, I decided to wear it just for special occasions. I have a less expensive fragrance that I wear daily. Very cost-conscious of me, don’t you think?
I volunteer at a women’s prison and the women love the smell of that expensive stuff: they comment on it every single time I walk in. So I spray it on for my visits there, and for dates, which means I only wear it to the prison! I can make a bottle last forever that way.
I was rationing my perfume during the lockdown by wearing it only on days when I had Zoom get-togethers: I pretended that I was going out on those days. It made me happy and I felt dressed up. I had to ask myself why I decided that I was going to ration something that makes me so happy? How much money could I be saving on fragrance? Pennies? It’s crazy! No more!
Now, I am spraying myself head to toe with the good stuff every day! I’m like Pig Pen from the Peanuts comics walking down the street with visible clouds around me. And, I love it.
So, no more saving the good stuff for others. I’m going to use it all the time. If I want to wear it when I go to bed, alone, I’m wearing it. If I want to wear it to the gym, that’s fine.
If you’re saving your best for others, stop. Whether it’s dishes or clothing or fragrance, do not save the good stuff for everyone else. Use it for yourself! You are the only one you need to make happy.
Read MoreIf there is one thing I’ve learned from the pandemic lockdown, it’s that I missed my social life. I had no idea how much I loved being around people until that piece of my life was taken away. After a couple of months, though, I had learned a valuable lesson, one that I intend to hold on to for a long time. That lesson? I learned to enjoy my own company. Were you able to enjoy your own company?
I had to, right? I’m my own roommate! The first couple of weeks were tough. I was so used to getting up at the crack and going going going until evening, and when the lockdown came it was a sudden stop on that train. Nothing. But slowly, I started relearning how to spend time with myself. I stopped racing. The calendar was clear. My day was an empty canvas. I could fill it with whatever I wanted, as long as it was an at-home activity for one. I picked up some old hobbies that I hadn’t had time for. I read. I watched TV. I listened to Podcasts.
Now, I’m worried that I have come to like being alone too much! I am finding so much joy in my new/old hobbies. I’m not up at 6:00 a.m. Make-up? What’s that? Heels? You must be joking!
And, my place used to look like no one lived there: I got up, got dressed and headed out the door. When I came home I headed right upstairs and peeled off my clothes and hopped into bed. Now, it looks like someone lives there. It looks like a home because it is a home. Someone does live there, me. It is comfy and cozy and just mine. I am happy there.
I hope we never have to be locked down again, but if we do, I know I will be more mentally and emotionally prepared. And, I want to make sure that I continue to have time at home, just with me. I have learned to enjoy my own company.
How did you enjoy your time during the lockdown? What did you learn about yourself?
Read MoreAs we open up our lives again, I want you to do one thing for me: take action now to improve your life moving forward from this pandemic lockdown. There, that’s it. Nothing more to read here, right? I just can’t think of a better time to re-evaluate, re-assess and re-focus your life.
As we’ve all been sitting at home, I’m sure I’m not the only one who cleaned out closets and pitched food from the fridge and donated fabric that I am never going to sew into anything: we have had plenty of time to clean up little messes at home. Now it’s time to clean up our “outside” selves.
Think about the thoughts that have been bouncing around in your head for these last few months:
- As soon as the weather breaks I am going to walk every day.
- I have loved not coloring my gray while I’ve been at home. Maybe it’s time to go gray.
- Wow, I honestly don’t miss the office one bit. It’s time to retire.
- I miss work. I can’t wait to get back.
- I know I can’t travel for some time, but this had made me so aware of how much I miss it. When it’s time, I’m out of here!
- I miss the kids. They are too far away and this pandemic has made it painfully obvious to me. By the end of the year, I want to move closer to them.
Do any or all of those sound familiar? All of them have gone through my head and probably yours over the lockdown weeks. I’m not sure which ones are actionable for me or which ones I should drop (none of my kids are ready for me to join them!).
But, if we fail to give our lockdown thoughts some serious attention and we go back to life just as we left it, we will have lost a lot of valuable insight about how we really feel. And we don’t want to lose that value. So, do something about it.
Make one change, just one change. Take action now to improve your life while you still have all of this on your mind. Better yet, write it down. When you are thinking about what you’ve loved and what you’ve not loved about being isolated at home, make a note. Your brain is telling you something: don’t ignore it.
Stay safe and stay healthy!
Read MoreI just noticed that one of my old posts for Sixty and Me has just been highlighted on the homepage, so I re-read it, and I liked it! In it, I talk about the fact that confidence is sexy, that an assured attitude is hot! You can take a look here.
Seeing that reposted made me realize that I am sick and tired of talking about being locked down, about illness, about restarting our country, and about how lonely it has been. Done, done, done!
It feels great to think about other attributes of our personalities like confidence rather than perseverance. I am happy to think about lightness of spirit rather than steadfastness. Hooray for giving thought to how I look rather than how fast I can get through the grocery store. I don’t mind saying that I miss regular life a little.
So please go to Sixty and Me and read it as if we aren’t under quarantine and lockdown and as if things will be more lively soon. And, while you are there, take a look at my other articles. I am very proud of my writing for that site. And, it is so interesting to read the comments from women from other parts of the world: it gives me a sense of all of us being so similar no matter where we are or what our circumstances.
Today, think about how you can improve your confidence as you emerge back into your new life. Has that confidence changed now that we have to be more careful with our personal interactions? How will you adjust?
While I know how careful we all need to be as we break out of our homes, please muster up the confidence that you once had, or you were working on before we shutdown. Incorporating confidence makes you feel like you have control over your surroundings and circumstances.
Stay safe and healthy!
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