I have been picking up a few old hobbies that I used to enjoy, but have somehow left my life. A little sewing, a little knitting, you know, just those things that used to bring me some joy. So I wondered what made me stop doing the things that I loved in the first place? Well, I can’t blame this on anybody but myself, but I have learned that being yourself is everything.
So many of the things I loved to do, were not of any interest to my husband. He didn’t care if I made the pillow shams or the baby bumper. I played the guitar a tiny bit, that was a big yawn to him. I can name so many things that slowly drifted out of my life because they weren’t valued by my husband, and in the name of compromise, I just stopped doing them. My focus began to lean more toward the things that I thought would make him like me better, and we all know how that went.
I remember being very tired in my marriage, I was always tired. It’s no wonder! I was so busy trying to be someone, anyone, that my husband would like. And, of course, nothing I did was going to make that happen. I wasn’t who my husband wanted simply because I was his wife: that made me the lowest person on his priority list. He already had me.
Now, I might be the only one who values me and my interests but, so what. Now I sing out loud at home. I can play the guitar anytime I want, badly I might add. I bought a couple of patterns to sew for my grandson and I am knitting him a sweater. Value that!
But, the best part of being myself and doing those things that I love is that I’m not tired anymore. It’s true, I wake up refreshed and alive and looking forward to the day. I look forward to doing the things that I like and not having to do the things that I pretended to like. You won’t find a Sport Illustrated here!
The moral of the story is this: not being yourself is exhausting. It zaps you of the energy you could be spending on something way more fun. Don’t let this happen to you. Do what you love, no matter what it is.
