I have been writing to you for a few years now, about how it felt to
I told you a few weeks ago that my friend Brent called me out about the fact that I was still living my life as a woman who had been married for more than thirty years and had to start over. I believe his exact words were, “Boo Hoo. Then what.”
He was so right. I have been “preaching” to you about how great being single is, while not believing it myself. Well, that’s not quite true. I believed it, but only in the context of how I am since the divorce. Everything I have been writing to you is about my life as a single woman over sixty who finished in second place. Who didn’t get it right. Who is not living her dream. All of that is the cloud from which I have been writing to you.
Living with that unconscious framework around my life I now know, is weighing me down. So, it is weighing my writing down.
No More!
I think I have had in the back of my mind that things were somehow better in my old life, that I wish I still had it. And, nothing could be further from the truth, intellectually speaking. Emotionally, I have to challenge myself to know it, live it and shed the self-imposed weight of my past and really, really believe it. I need to believe that my life is better now than it was then because it is! I am a truly happy single woman.
Now, it may take me a while to catch up with my new liberated self, but catch up I will. What I want to say to you is that I am sorry: I was writing about all the power you should have while I wasn’t believing it. I thought I believed it, but I was
I Believe it Now
I have crossed a giant moat with this new realization and I want you to do the same. Whether your past is weighing you down or your current situation is not what you want it to be, shed that weight and you will breathe easier in a way you may have never breathed before.
I Love My Single Life
I love my single life, do you? Do you love your life or are you just telling yourself and everyone around you that you do? Dig deep to figure out how you really feel. Until you do you will never be fully happy.
Love it!
Thank you thank you thank you!
Thank you Leslee!
I’m proud of you Paula. It takes a lot to admit the pretend. It took me almost 11 years but I finally “ghosted” my ex. We only texted each other on birthdays and sometimes talked on the phone. So there was never a true closure and he was not good to me. So this time on his birthday I did not call him and it felt so good. I pray he doesn’t call me on my birthday and I hope I have the strength to not answer if he does! I’m still trying to figure out why I stayed with him so long. Why I felt so little about myself that I chose to ignore how he was treating me – but even as I am trying to figure myself out I am happy being single!
Deborah, Hooray for not calling him on his birthday, and whether he admits it or not, he noticed! All you can do about the past is learn from it and say goodbye to it. I know it is easier said than done, and those gremlins are always on our shoulders, but it feels great when we can let go.
I know this for a fact: his life will never be as good as it was with you. I have to tell you this, as soon as I hit send on that post, my life began to change for the better. I swear it’s true. And I bet as soon as you went through his birthday without calling something good happened. Life just works that way.
Heres to a happier life without him than with!!!
61, been divorced 4 years. He’s living in retirement with a girlfriend, not the secretary he left me for, I’m still bitter that my life style has changed so much and his has not. And the girlfriends I thought we stand by me and invite me to join-don’t reach out anymore.
I’m better off I know but that bitter seed is always with me.
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Laura, our story is nearly identical! I would love for you to schedule a free consultation with me. I know I can help you begin the process toward more happiness. So glad you commented.
I love not being constantly racked with the anxiety my ex caused me but I hate not having healthy insurance and I hate struggling financially and working 50 hours a week. And I hate always being the divorced lady.
I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time in your life. I would love for you to signup for a consultation possibly leading to the WingWoman Program. I really think I can help you find a path to more happiness and joy.