Think about this: are you the woman you want to be? Really, if you listed all the attributes that you would possess if you were exactly who you want to be, do you have them? That thought came to me during a conversation with a coach that I hired to help me move forward more intentionally. I thought I knew all the answers by now but I began to think about what pieces are missing, and how I can change that. As much as I write about embracing change, I am not doing that as fully as I thought I was, and I wouldn’t be surprised if you might be in the same boat.
I believe that for the first time I am totally aware that while I appear to be making everything work out great on the outside, I still have too many demons on the inside and they are holding me back from being the woman I want to be. So, you know what, it is time to change that and my hope is that you will join me. Take a look at these steps to getting closer to being the woman you want to be.
What is Missing in Your Life?
Honestly, if you had a perfect life, what would it look like? When you are daydreaming, and we all do, what is that dream? Where do you live? Who is with you? What does your average day look like? Are you the rockstar of your own life? Of course, you are, it’s your dream. Allow yourself to think about what your best life would look like. Not your win the lottery life but your best real life. What is missing from that life and do you really want it, or you just say you do? If you honestly do want to change your life, then how can you make it happen?
How Can You Get There?
To get to a new restaurant you need directions right? Well, if you need help moving forward toward your perfect life, do you know where to get that assistance? Tomorrow, what action will you take? Are you moving forward in the process, or are you just paying lip service to it? What professionals can help you make that dream a reality? Or friends? Or colleagues? Or family members?
Are You Sure It Is What You Want?
Be honest with yourself. Even though you say you would like to quit working, maybe the reason you haven’t is that it isn’t really what you want. If what you say and what you do are not the same, there is a fly in the ointment? Something isn’t quite right. Focusing your attention inward will eventually lead you to what you genuinely care about. When your daily activities are not aligning with where you want to go, something is off. Here’s an idea: write down what your perfect life would look like. Match it up to what your life is right now. Do they align? If the answer is yes, yay! If the answer is no, then maybe it isn’t what you want, or maybe you need to focus more on that piece of your life so you can actually get there.
When you align what you value with how you live your life, it doesn’t get any better. You are living your life as you intend. You are who you say you are and that is peace of mind.
I think You make a really important point that we need to make the distinction between real life and ‘win the lottery life’. There are physical things I’d like to change – thicker hair, thinner body but it’s not these things that your question relates to.
Am I the woman I want to be? Certainly, in some aspects, I am happy with who I am but I think we are almost all still a work in progress. I have a large circle of friends so I guess I’m getting tolerance and friendliness right. But the ‘me’ inside needs work: I’d like to be a women who worried less (about my family) one who didn’t catastrophise (about things that only might happen). I’d like to come to terms with things that have happened where I don’t think I’ve moved on quite so far as I should. I need to manage these feelings better.
As for getting what I want, I would like more money but I’ve made the decision to work less than half of standard hours because the extra time this gives me adds greater value to my life than the extra income would.