Women are the great re-inventors, it’s true.  If there is one quality that sets women apart from men and is one of the keys to remaining happy over a lifetime, it is the ability to re-invent oneself.  Certainly, I can name famous women, most of them having one name like Cher, Madonna, Gaga,  who have all had several incarnations.  Look at Joan Rivers, who started out in stand-up, ended up on a fashion television show and in between ran a jewelry empire.  Or how about Martha Stewart who built an empire, was sentenced to prison time then emerged strong after serving that time.  The point is that women seem to have the ability to pick themselves up after defeat, assess the damage and then pivot and start over in a new direction.

I have a theory that women are so good at re-invention because their lives biologically are set up that way.  Through youth, then motherhood or the reproductive years, followed by menopause, it is biology at its most basic level.  We go through so many changes internally that making necessary changes to our lives is already in our DNA.

Think about how many versions of you there have been.  Speaking for myself, I was a single woman, then a wife, then a mother, then a single woman again and soon will be a grandmother: all very different stages in life with different expectations.  While men’s roles are very clearly defined over the course of their lives, women change roles almost daily.  So, is it any wonder that women seem to be more able to handle, and better prepared to deal with, life when it throws them curve balls?  Is it a surprise that women seem to thrive on change while men simply do not?  No, it is not.

Looking back over my adult life, I was a single woman working in advertising when I met my future husband and no sooner did the minister say, “I now pronounce you husband and wife,” I was pregnant.  I was having a difficult time finding childcare and wasn’t madly in love with my job, so I stayed at home with that baby and the one who followed.  Now I was an at-home mother working as hard at being good in that role as I had at selling advertising time.  When I look back at that young woman I wonder what made her feel like she had to be great at everything?  It might be that my husband didn’t value my expertise at home as much as he valued my expertise earning a paycheck, but, that is how it was.  I went back to work a couple of years later and was now a mother of two baby boys and a daughter on the way, working fulltime outside the home and full time inside the home.  Not uncommon.  Not complaining, just the truth.  When my daughter came along I hung up my working outside the home shoes more permanently and dived into the world of at-home motherhood.   Lots of trials along the way and a not so happy marriage lead me to where I am today (there is a lot of stuff in-between but this isn’t a book.  Kids grew up and moved on, my marriage finally crumbled, etc.).

Here I am and now I get to start over: I have the chance to wipe the slate clean and really be purposeful with the direction I take.  It is already happening in small doses:  I live downtown in a one-room loft while my husband insisted on keeping the big house on a country club golf course (this appears to be a win for each of us, illustrating our differences).  I love it!

So, back to Madonna and Cher: neither one of them was an actress until their respective singing careers lead them down that path, and the same can be said for Lady Gaga.  And, how many hats did Joan Rivers wear over the course of her life?  How many hats have you worn?  Here is an exercise for you: write down the roles you have played over the course of your life.  How many careers, responsibilities and supervisory positions have you been involved in along the way?  Can you start over at sixty or beyond?  Absolutely, without question.  And, you can excel through those changes: you can make your life better.

Not all change is positive and not all change is fun, but change is inevitable, and if you don’t learn to roll with it you will not be able to age happily, that’s just the truth.  We must adapt if we want to be happy in our sixties, seventies and beyond.  Re-invent, re-prioritize and re-locate if you want to, and learn how much you still have to give to this world.  And never stop moving forward.