I say this to myself all the time, and now I want to put it in print, so I can see it. “Dear Mom, now I get it. I’m sorry.”

My mother died at 49, 15 years younger than I am now. That fact is hard to believe on its own. That my mother has been gone from this world for nearly 40 years is just unbelievable to me.

My parents divorced when I was 15. My father had become an alcoholic and left my mom for the woman who worked at the bar next to his office. It could not have been more cliche. My mom was of course, heartbroken. And, I can honestly say that for the rest of her life, I know that what she missed was our little family, the three of us together. She hated sharing me for the holidays. She hated that I had relationships with the women in my father’s life ( I honestly didn’t know what to do). She loved the life she had built with my dad and how it was gone.

I was, of course, not one bit sympathetic. I was a teenager. I was about myself. I was annoyed and I was trying to be cool and aloof and not care about any of it: obviously I was dealing with my own feelings. I was now a child of divorced parents (that was not the norm back then for sure). I spent a lot of time rolling my eyes at my mother.

Fast forward to my life now. I am her. So many times over the past five years I have wished I could say to my mom, “Sorry, mom. I was a bratty daughter who was so uninterested in your feelings about being divorced from my dad. But, now I get it, all of it. And, I apologize from the bottom of my heart for not being more understanding and for not being a shoulder for you. I apologize.”

I am so lucky to get the opportunity to have a second chance at happiness. I hope I always make my mom proud and I hope, at the end of the day, I can show her and everyone, what a great second chance looks like.

What would you tell your mother if you had the chance? And, if she is still here, what would you like to say to her? Do it!